Boasting: Is There A Limit?
"He thinks the sun comes up just to hear
him crow." — Charles Martin
With boasting, I often contemplate whether it's due on insecurity or any other quality or feeling that is desiring to be dealt with. I can't blame everything on insecurity, but it's always clear that constant boasting about oneself is due a lack of something...
Let me give you an example and let's call this person Joe. Joe will talk about his life. I will listen. I will give advice and we are pretty much set to enter into a new topic....but wait, no, Joe's not yet done, he continues. It's okay to continue, but this time, instead of being 'real' and honest, something takes over and Joe starts talking about how great he is, what he has, what he has done and who he has done it with (no pun intended).
"Oh Joe..." I think "You were so good....until now"...
What happens when this is a reoccurring theme in the friendship? What if they don't give you a chance to ever talk about yourself or your day and it seems like you are just a silhouette of the perfect listener in this friendship? It makes it seem like something so-one sided that if the friendship were tangible their piece could be touched but your side couldn't because it's not even existent.
SOLUTIONS?
-RUN! LOL okay, the old me would have. I used to run away from difficult people, and I realized that I'm also pretty difficult when I want to be :P. So let's just say that maybe running away isn't the answer all the time, or at least it shouldn't be the first answer.
-I think as a friend it's better to let them know what they are doing and how it makes you feel - half the time they probably don't even know that they are doing this! Other times it's a challenge to see if you are really meant to be friends (I've yet to see *BREAKING NEWS* on CNN for someone telling their friends the truth out of care).
-So how would you do it? Well, you might think that because they are so 'confident' that they wouldn't be bothered if you said it harshly, but in all respects, they are still fragile beings, so be nice (the first few times though!)
-Sometimes you have to repeat what they say to you so they can get the idea of what they REALLY say. Saying it back to them can reinforce that they boast too much. For example if Joe keeps on boasting about how he is the only one that gets A's in Biology, you can say: "hey do you know about the functions of this pink plant here, it seems like you would because you obviously get an A's in biology!" Then maybe roll your eyes vigorously so you can have a theatrical effect on the sentence --works wonders. :P
-If you've tried your hardest...sometimes physical distance from them can demonstrate what you mean..
-If not, then if someone seems toxic to you and they drain you...you might have to re-think this friendship...unfortunately we sometimes have to learn the hard way about ourselves...and we have to let others make their own mistakes too.
What do you think? Have you ever met someone who boasted so much? What did YOU do or say?
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2 comments:
People who boast are quite a touchy subject. I really actually feel sorry for them because most of the time they just sound ridiculous and they don't see it. Thankfully I've never really had a super close friend who did that but I have friends that I am not so close to that do. In their case, I can let it slide. Simply because since we're not so close, hearing the truth from me might just put them on the deffensive and start an argument. No matter how nice you tell them, they're usually gonna feel like the victim and think you're jealous or smth. If the person is a close friend it should make talking to them easier. But yes, it is REALLY annoying...But most of the time I think they realize what they're doing without you having to SAY anything. Thnx for sharing!
Tell the World
Hey, thanks for your comment.
I agree, It's pretty sad to watch, and yes sometimes they head straight into defense-mode which can be a natural inclination to us as humans; but at least it will be in their subconscious after telling them! hehe. no but it's just sad honestly and I want to hold them and tell them it's okay! heheheh :P :P and yes sometimes they definitely KNOW what they are doing, they just push the limit to see how far they can go with you..."you teach people how to treat you" :) :)
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