I can jump, but asking me to fly is a bit too much.

I need to VENT. :) 

Have you ever listened to someone who thought that their life struggles were worse than yours? No matter what, it seemed like their mind-frame is already set to auto-pilot? 

When this type of mind-frame is set, it makes them see you in a different light and they refuse to see you for who you truly are. The sad thing is, and wait for it, they don't even know what YOU have been through. 

"So how exactly are they assessing me" you ask?...

...Clearly through a judgemental window. 

Most of the time if we get to know people we'll see that we might have a lot in common. 

I'm saying that we need to stop and think that maybe this image one might have of someone else is  something THEY want to see and not because the other person had been putting on a façade, but because it's what they are choosing to see. 

It's frustrating. It's frustrating because no matter how hard you try to be the best you can, it's never enough for them and you realize that their expectations for you are just too high.

Unfortunately living life like that is only harmful because one day, and unexpectedly, that image will truly be shattered before your eyes...

"Truth is, everyone is going to hurt you, but you have to decide who is worth suffering for..."

Maybe using this cliché quote is appropriate because the point I'm trying to make is something that has also been repeated for so long.

Let me tell you something. There is Good and Evil, there is God and the devil. The devil knows that YOU are the only one in this world who knows, understands and feels exactly what you went through in the past. THUS, with his only mission of destroying you, who is better at destroying you than...YOURSELF.

Think about it. Think of how many times you've blamed yourself after someone did you wrong. Once certain situations occur, you start thinking about the past, about how such and such hurt you and how you won't ever trust again; you start remembering past words that were exchanged between you and others. All this happens from YOU. 

The point is that because you can be your own worst enemy, you can start judging people in a way that may not even be close to what they truly are.  

I think as humans we need to stop assuming that others haven't been through anything in life. By choosing not to do so, you make it difficult for them to cope with their situations, and not only that, but try not to make yourself your own worst enemy.

I could elaborate further but I think I've said the most necessary things. I hope that this helped at least one person, because LORD knows I needed to vent about it and He knows what I just went through. :)

What do YOU think about this? Has anyone ever judged you unfairly, or have you judged someone unfairly? Do you think it's necessary to keep on proving to them that you are not what they see you as or is it better to just move on? Let me know your thoughts!  :)



Monea Diana said...

I`m a non-native english speaker so i must ask you to excuse my grammar mistakes even if they`re here or not.
I have one of those situations in my life right now and i must say that i admire your advice but i think i`ll never be able to move on.It`s because the ”judgers” seem to be my own family and i really can`t get over.I feel sorry for myself.

Blogger said...

Hey Monea!

Don't worry your english is great! :)

I understand where you're coming from, it's definitely hard to grasp sometimes. First thing is to understand that these situations are inevitable and everyone goes through it so you are not alone! :)

I'm sorry to hear that, it can be really tough when it's family. I don't know your family, but the best thing to always start with is to let them know how it makes you feel. Having a dialogue about what's going on will open up a space which will be the beginning of understanding why there is 'judgment' going on. Just remember to keep an open mind and to go to them gently and ask why they feel a certain way about you. Do not accuse anyone because that will automatically put up a wall. You might even be surprised and see that they are willing to start a change and also let you know some things you can do as well to help in the process.

If the dialogue doesn't work and you are truly being the best person you can be, all you can do is continue living and to NOT judge them in return. The only thing you can do sometimes is to continue living by example of how you would want others to treat you. It can be hard, but you are not alone and things WILL get better. We all reap what we sow, so what better way to be sad for a bit and to continue living positively and then reap a great harvest in the end!:)

I don't know whether you are a Christian or not, but my first solution is to always pray about it and to ask God for the right words to say when you talk to your family and to take control! I wish you the best girl and I'm praying for ya! :) :)

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Favorite Movies So Far...

  • 500 Days of Summer
  • Diary of a Mad Black Woman
  • I Can Do Bad All By Myself
  • Inception
  • Love & Basketball

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