Friends For........Ever?


I went to an International School where it was perfectly 'normal' for friends to come and go. It seemed like everyone's parents worked for an embassy or the UN, so when their time was up, they had to move to a new country.  I found myself sighing and saying: "here we go again, time to make a new best friend"

The moments I experienced with my friends were always like a fairytale. It's always the best thing when you find not only friends who enjoy what you enjoy, but people who truly get you. The people who had left had understood me, and just when the friendship was being sealed with 'BFF' necklaces that we had bought for each other, it was also time to take our final picture for remembrance.

Now with Facebook, E-mail, Google, Twitter, Myspace...there are so many ways to check where your old friends are, and within 15 minutes you could be pressing 'Add As Friend'

The question in mind is: is it a good idea to contact an old friend, or is it better to leave them in the past?
Let's take two situations: 

An old friend from primary school came back to my old school and we were both really excited about our reunion. We knew that things would be exactly the way they were in primary school. Boy were we wrong.

"We can't be more different!!" I whined in my head. I tried my hardest to bring up our old jokes and we laughed while we reminisced, but whilst the jokes took us back to the past for a moment, we were back to reality in a split second. 

She had changed. I had changed. We were just different people. Even though this wasn't through E-mail or Facebook, it was similar in the sense of making conversation that would last. One always contemplates where to start. How can you answer the question of "what have you been up to...." without being annoyed and saying ''oh, nm". It had been Y-E-A-R-S. It just wasn't happening.

The second situation was my other friend who had changed schools and we hadn't stayed in touch. We bumped into each other and exchanged numbers. We later met up and that day we spoke for about 5 hours! We hadn't even realized that the time had flown by so fast!

I wondered how the question of 'so how's life been' had worked with her and not with...the other girl. Ironically we laughed about the past, but we remembered that we are now in this moment so it was time to talk about who we are now. To this day she is one of my best friends and I know that I can count on her. 

I gave two different accounts for the question of whether it is a good idea to contact an old friend or leave it in the past. I say that if you do decided to contact them, that you should remember that things change and people change, so sometimes it won't even be anything personal against you.

Don't have high expectations of the conversation/outcome as it can go either way. If it doesn't turn out the way you wanted, it's okay, you had your time with them and life goes on. If it does turn out to work then it was meant to be. Some people are in your life for specific reasons and others forever, just keep the good memories and use those to flourish your other relationships.

http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/bestfriends.jpg?w=331&h=362

4 comments:

jesayka said...

I absolutely hate it when friends come and go. But what I hate the most is seeing them years later and we can't even mutter a single hello because it's just too awkward.

Blogger said...

Girl I know what you mean!!! It's really sad when that happens.
Unfortunately that's what we have to go through sometimes. But hey, hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes we end up seeing the exact reason why certain friendships had to end.

Monea Diana said...

I wish i knew your blog before trying to contact my old BFFs.I was very dissapointed. =[

Blogger said...

Hey Monea!
Aw I'm sorry you were disappointed. It's still okay because I'm sure you learnt something during the time you contacted them. Sometimes we have to learn for ourselves and we get even stronger from those experiences. Be thankful for the times you had with them and see how you can make your current friendship flourish into even greater ones! :) :)

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