"When I say I'm a Christian" - My Diary

The poem above is so beautiful. For so long I had this image of what a Christian should be like or how they should behave, so I simply tried to avoid it. God finally spoke to me telling me that it is not by works that you are saved but by grace (Ephesians 2:8). "What does that mean?" I asked. He didn't speak, He showed me instead.

The image I had stuck in my head made me into a person that I shouldn't have taken energy to be. I was very stuck on proving that I was ''finally'' this Christian that was supposed to happen at one time or another. I saw that when I made a mistake I had to hide it.

I think the hardest part was after my mistake I would hear someone say: "why did you do that? I thought you were a Christian?", or the infamous use of reverse psychology: "You should do this for me, Christians behave like that".

This is where the poem comes in. Maybe at that time I didn't have an answer or I would simply get angry for the judgments people put on me for being imperfect. Now God has been showing me that it is OKAY to make mistakes and that it's a waste of energy proving to the world when I only have to answer to Him.

Maya Angelou's poem only explains a FRACTION of the awesomeness of what it is like to live for Christ. The thing about it is that He realizes that we are humans and His perfect love makes us want to be better people. Not just that, but because His Son died for us, we are 'free', meaning we are released from this bondage that society and the devil continuously try to pin us into. God already won and the only thing He asks from us is to live for Him and not for people.

I think that's what I am learning right now, that I will be making mistakes along this journey. I'm learning to stop worrying about what others think of me or what they might say. This is good because it's teaching me to only rely on Christ and not on anything else. Of course next time I will appreciate it if someone is looking out for me out of LOVE and GUIDANCE, but definitely not out of judgement and insecurity.

This week's challenge for you is to find something that has been holding you down. Write it down on a piece of paper and write after it: "I will not let you hold me down" and pin it at the back of your door. "E.g. Worrying, I will not let you hold me down". As crazy as this sounds, repeating it to yourself, with prayer and action  will result to something (James 4:7). It might not seem much now but it's little things like this that are the gateway for something bigger and better!. :)

Good Luck lovies!

Sources: http://www.crystalxp.net/galerie/img/img-images-beauty--usmanahmedansari-5873.jpg


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Favorite Movies So Far...

  • 500 Days of Summer
  • Diary of a Mad Black Woman
  • I Can Do Bad All By Myself
  • Inception
  • Love & Basketball

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