How I Knew He Wasn't "The One"

I was browsing through my friend's issue of Glamour Magazine and saw an article called ''How I knew''. The article is mainly based on short essays by men on how they 'knew' certain things, such as 'How I Knew I'd Marry Her"...etc. My friend's issue had a post on "How I Knew She Wasn't The One" by Adam Sternbergh. He basically described how he knew that a certain woman was not The One until he eventually did meet the person who truly was 'The One'. It was pretty funny how he described most of the people, and ironically my friend then showed me another post by a girl who wrote a similar post to Sternbergh's. So........clearly out of my own boredom, and to continue this wonderful legacy of female empowerment until we find the right guy, I've decided to follow suit and write my own version of "How I Knew He Wasn't The One". :) 

How I Knew He Wasn't The One

1. I asked you about what you wanted to do or work as part of your future plans and all you could say was "umm...future plans?". I knew then that you were not The One.    

2. You had never had Starbucks in your life and you asked me what to order so I suggested the Caramel Frapp because it's my fav. You decided to order some random banana drink, that's how I knew you weren't The One.

3. You gave me all your passwords so easily which was nice because I had an activity when I was bored. I knew you weren't The One when you thought that access to your e-mail was permission to tell me that you loved me. 

4. You said you hated girls who smoke because they smell and it's gross. Your next girlfriend was a chain-smoker..........NOT THE ONE!!!

5. I knew you weren't The One when we started talking about our future kids already (*CRING*) then you decided it would be great to test me and see how I acted around all your nieces...*WAAAYY TOOO FAST* -SO NOT THE ONE.

6. I naively broke up with you via e-mail, and you e-mailed me back asking me questions. --You didn't call me either, that's how I knew you weren't The One.

7. I told you not to record me singing for my rehearsal and you did, I only said it so you'd have the final version because I wanted it to be perfect for you. The One would get the point after I say it 20 times including during the song when I said: "I hope you're not recording this!" 

8. You went to church every Sunday and told me you believed in God. When we broke up you said you didn't really believe in God, I didn't know whether you thought that was revenge on me or is that actually revenge on yourself in the long run? lol ;-) 

9. You liked Anime...and you were black. The One would never say such a thing.

10. All your friends added me on Facebook within a span of a about overload. The One would take time to bring me into his circle.

11. We saw each other after I got my braids done and you made too many compliments as if I'd been on Extreme Makeover...The One would know that one genuine compliment is enough; it's just synthetic hair, not diamonds.



Post a Comment

Follow My Blog!

Favorite Movies So Far...

  • 500 Days of Summer
  • Diary of a Mad Black Woman
  • I Can Do Bad All By Myself
  • Inception
  • Love & Basketball

Hit Counter