Piece of Your Heart

 

I have been having about five or so re-occurring conversations with my friends, acquaintances and just randoms who decide that they need to get something off their chest. BUT...the point is, I'm going to be sharing a few of these conversations in the months to come. 

One conversation in particular was about relationships. This one is definitely for all you single guys and girls  who want a LASTING relationship that could lead to marriage in the far/near future; so if "your thing" right now is to explore and have flings, you can press the 'X' at the right of the screen.  


I've  actually been fortunate enough to have had a time-period where I had JUST guy friends, simply because during that time I didn't trust girls. Now, I stick with my girls and I RIDE or DIE for them simply because they are my girls and I know my best friends would do the same for me. The point is that: I've had the feel of both sides of friendships and I have a general idea of what they both say and do behind the scenes; so it's been helpful when deciding what advice to always give about relationships. 

The conversation I have been having is about how it seems that 'everyone' is in a relationship, or how 'a lot of people' seem to wish that they were in a relationship because of the former sentence (pun intended). It's a bit complex but bear with me here...

Friend A - Let's call them Tony (and lets say Tony represents all the guys and girls I have been talking to) says to me: "I'm so sick of all these couples"... 
Tony continues to say: "It seems like people are lowering their standards JUST to have a relationship". 
Tony comes to me a few weeks later: "...Yeah I decided to just hook up with Sarah, I mean she's just...there, I mean I was drunk... And she's a nice girl too, she's cool to hang out with. I don't know why Katie was mad at me when she saw me with her, if she really liked me she should have said or done something earlier..."

I honestly have known such AMAZING people who tell me what they want in a guy or girl and the next thing I see is they are with someone who is thee total opposite and the VERY NEXT thing I then see is a hard break-up followed with a cry of "I don't know what went wrong!" 
*Shaking my head*. I have once been a victim myself, so that is why I'm vigorously shaking my head; it is definitely not a fun ride, it's a waste of time.
Clearly WE, yes WE, need to re-evaluate what we are looking for in that future boyfriend or girlfriend.


CHALLENGE:
Keep a list of FIVE things in your head, or even write them down right after this and tell yourself that if this guy or girl doesn't have these FIVE things then the relationship is not for you. I'm sorry y'all, but I'd rather be single for the next 5 years and then find my true love than to go through relationships and 'rides' just to prove a
point; because by the time Mr.Right and Mrs.Right comes along, you wont even be ready, you'll be so worn out, emotionally discharged and just not 'into it'. *Shame.On.You*

So, just to give you an example of what I mean by the list, I'm going to share with you what my five non-negotiable traits are. KEY WORD: NON-NEGOTIABLE.
Take my advice: if any girl or guy tries to play around a non-negotiable, please RUN. Don't be afraid to say: "we're not going to work out". You don't have to settle for less; and not only that, but if they can't accept you and respect that then its obvious where that relationship would head in the long run.

FIVE NON-NEGOTIABLE TRAITS:
1. Has to have a strong relationship with Christ - why? because Christ comes first, and we are all human so it's important to have Christ as your best friend, lover, your redeemer. Not only that, but in the relationship there will be downfalls and when I reach my rock bottom I want him to be able to pray for me, and to pray
WITH ME. I don't want to have to lean on the floor and have him ask me: "what you leanin' fo'?" ;)

2. Honesty - enough said. there's nothing more attractive than an honest person. I don't mean someone who will wake up and say: "EISH, YOUR FACE, YOUR BREATH!" I want someone to tell me when I'm acting like an idiot and when I'm not. A balance is healthy.

3. Kids - has to LOVEEE kids. I want to work with kids in the future, kids ARE the future. There are so many orphans out there and kids with no loving families. I want to adopt in the future, so I have to make sure  I know how he feels about that part.

4. Communication - this is key. I don't like people who cannot express themselves or someone who will smile the wholeeeeee day and yet they were pissed off at me; it is best that I understand that something pisses you off than for you to be fake and I repeat it.

5. Romantic -  Romance is definitely relative. For some, getting into a Limo and going to Vegas is romantic, for others having a pic-nic in the park is romantic. For me, the little things mean a lot; so obviously a guy who cares enough to know the real me and what I appreciate. Ultimately ANY guy can walk up to you and give you flowers and take you on a trip. This will be a key link in having a deep relationship.


SO LADIES...GENTLEMEN, to answer your question as to how NOT to settle for less is to know and to love yourself first and know what you want; for the more spiritual people, pray about it and see where God points you to.
You can keep the list to yourself  and look for those traits without saying anything. I obviously wrote mine here because I'm trying to let you know what sort of list it should be like; if anything, it's pretty hard for a guy
or girl to maintain all 5 qualities if they are just 'faking' it to please you. I hope that your list doesn't include superficial elements such as: SHOULD wear Gucci and NO NIKE, or that they won't make mistakes and embarrass you, stuff like that, because IT WONT HAPPEN.

Good luck in your list, and don't be scared to be deep boys; and girls don't be scared to admit you fall for  those sweet dorks; and remember:

"True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly" - Jason Jordan
Oh...I have a midterm tomorrow...*cringe*.
With Love,
Blogger.

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